The Two-Faced Kid

The Two - Faced Kid 



Out in the beautiful mountains of British Columbia lies a rather peculiar small town resting in a valley. The streets of this town were filled with thugs and priests, providing easy routes to find God or crime. Within this town, some time in the 90's, a lady defied the words of doctors and gave birth to a boy.  To her, he was a miracle. But to the rest of the town, this boy was odd. He never could fit in. No matter how hard he tried, he would not be accepted. He was destined to be an outsider. Unfortunately this would be a plague upon the boy's mind. All he wanted was to be included, but for a reason unknown to him he was always tired, unable to socialize. Those around him would attempt to engage him, but the Boy couldn't pull out anything of interest to them. He would have his small band of friends, which for the most part would be perfect for him. That is until the Devil came along and gave this boy a gift. The gift of energy. Suddenly the boy would be full of life, laughing away his problems. People would start to gather around the boy for he could entertain them like a court jester, displaying the truth of the world unbeknownst to all those around him, who would laugh and laugh. All the positive attention put a bright smile on the boy's face. People loved him. Little did he know, the Devil's gift came with a cost. All this energy would leave from time to time, and the boy would be back to being tired. At first it was no problem. Sleepy some days, full of life others. Seemed like perfect balance, until he graduated. Suddenly his bursts of energy came with a craving. Perhaps this is due to the fact the beast of lust was forced upon him at a young age, or maybe it was simply his destiny.

Upon graduating, our Boy's life would be tossed into the unknown. He left all he knew and started down a path of excitement, following his high-energy self towards a life of endless fun, or so it would seem. He met countless new people, who all adored him. Along with these new friends, he also met an addicting poison, alcohol. All those around him would be full of astonishment as our Boy would drink and drink and drink until the rivers ran dry. No one knew how he did it. In such a high energy state it came easy to the Boy. Almost like drinking water. And the more he drank, the more all those around loved him, thus fueling his flame. Then one week he would crash, and run away to his old friends. The very life drained from him. He had no idea why.
"How could someone be so sad, when all those around him show nothing but love?", the Boy would think. Such thoughts would hinder the Boy, sending him into anxiety. For days he would try to shelter himself.
"The people don't want to see a sad clown.", he would ponder. Those around him must not of known, for they would try their hardest to get the Boy to come out and have some fun. So he would force it. Now, such poisons as alcohol had another purpose. The Boy needed a mask. The last thing he wanted for all those around him, was for them to feel as he felt. Sadness. That is until the Devil's gift would spark again, and suddenly the Boy would forget what it even felt like to be sad. Nothing could take him down from his mountain, and he would spread his energy as far as he could. For the smile of others brought about a smile within his heart, which would often lay dormant in the cold.

Whenever he crashed, his old friends were the perfect fit. Restful days full of joking and no need to impress. It was like a break from the courts for this jester. Yet when ever the gift would kick in, the Boy would need stimulation, excitement. His gift would drive him further and further down the highway of sin. And he loved every minute of it. Over time the Boy would grow distant with his old friends. He couldn't just sit down all day and relax anymore. Thus he made the decision to see where his new friends would take him. For he was addicted to adventure and his gift gave him the perfect personality to explore. Soon he would be surrounded by those who liked the taste of illicit substances. The Boy would fit in perfectly. All of these people, full of life and energy, just like how the Boy felt whenever the gift would come around. It really didn't take long for the Boy to realize he could eat ecstasy whenever he crashed, and feel like he was always graced with his gift. His friends would grow and grow, as would his love. He was happy. No longer would he be forced to cycle through pure joy and dreadful sadness. The Boy even found a good friend who seemed to understand him, and would join him on all his silly adventures.

Sadly this new found freedom was just another gift from the Devil, and he would crash harder than he has ever crashed before. His own soul had to show him what such reckless decisions could lead to, like death. The Boy had tip toed far too close to the other side, and now his sadness would last the longest it ever had. Sudden realization, like taking a sledge hammer to the face. He had thrown himself off of his mountain. For months, maybe even years, the Boy tried to climb back up to the top of his mountain, but his choice of paths were undesired by those around him, so he locked himself away, out of town. Here in solitude he would break himself down, and whenever his gift would make an appearance, the Boy would be forced to stay up all night, alone with his own demons.

The Boy found a solution in solitude. He would become the best possible person he could. Now his adventure would become internal. He would explore his mind, body and soul. For he must know why he was given such a gift and how to remain at a happy medium. His first step was diving head first into University. Such desires of money and status would be put to the side. "What good can money do, if one is always sad or restless?"
The journey would begin. Once again the Boy would launch himself into the foray of the public. Only now, his lower energy state had a purpose. Knowledge. Together the Boy's two states would allow him to learn through schooling and experience. While feeling low, he would study. While feeling high, he would throw himself into new worlds. Crime, spirituality, bodybuilding, music, all was accessible to the Boy. And he would surely explore all he could, as everything in life was of an interest to him. Everything he dove into, would give him knowledge most people wouldn't have the chance to truly understand. Except relationships. Both friendships and romance would come as a hardships for the Boy to maintain. Over the years of studying himself would come to understand why he has such relationship problems. Living within a single body is a calm nerd who is happy in isolation, and an out of control animal. When he was depressed he would push those who loved him away, and when he was fully manic he would scare them away. Luckily he had brief moments between states where people would love to be around him. It seems the more he understood himself, the greater of distance he would have with those he loved to be around. A new plague would run across his mind,
"Am I crazy?"
All those around him display faces of unsure fear. Even the one who he thought understood, seems to have lost his favor for the Boy. Now he sits alone fighting another battle, wondering when his gift will pop back up. When will he have another week of sleeplessness, followed by a sudden crash and days of lacking the ability of getting out of bed? Will he have to leave town?  At least now he knows what is going on within his brain, such thoughts of insanity make no sense within sobriety. He's not crazy, his energy levels and mood just fluctuate outside of his control. One day his body is drained but his heart thaws, until his body rages with energy and all the while his heart refreezes. A duel life is all he can live, as every attempt to explain what he is going through is shut down by those around him. This makes one half full of sadness, while the other half couldn't care less, for he knows life is rather easier when one is free to understand their own well-being, others who decide to not understand, aren't needed. That is until the crash comes and all he wants is for those he loves to understand.

All the Boy has to do, is not let his lower state end it all, for he has lots of life left in him. He just can't bear the sight of what his mental states does to those around him. Once again he is set upon his path. A jester released to show the world, positivity and the truth. For if he can drag himself out of such damp pits of despair, he can shine a light for those who are suffering. The battle will never end, but with a well taught general this Boy will no longer be pushed further away from the front line.

We are warriors.
We are lovers.
We are the damaged and the lost.
Forever at war.
Always seeking peace.
Grown within Hell, we learn to crawl our way to Heaven.
With one hand we fight
and with the other we love.

- Kenneth J Good, Warrior set free to march upon his path.